“I Just Called, To Say, I Love You.”

I watched a video on Instagram a few days ago, and I cannot stop thinking about it. It was a couple of guys who were standing outside what looked like a college campus, with a sign that said they would pay people $5 to call and tell someone they love them. Easy, quick way to make $5 right?

Now, I have taken my fair share of positive psychology courses to know the outcome of the video. Spoiler alert: no one took the $5. What they experienced was that the intrinsic feeling they got from talking to the person they loved and hearing their voice made them happier than $5 would have. It also has more positive long term effects than $5 would have. Saw that one coming.

That is not what surprised me though. One of the individuals who placed a call to what sounded mom or grandmother, and her response is what got me. “Hi, I just called to say I love you.” The woman on the other end of the phone immediately panicked. “What is wrong? Is everything ok?” She was shocked, and repeatedly asked those two questions, no matter how many times the guy said “No really. I am just calling to say ‘I love you.'” It kind of broke my heart. Not because of her, but because she probably wasn’t the only one that had that same response.

Why are we as people trained to think that there is something wrong if you call someone, just to tell them you love them? Why can’t we call someone to tell them we love them simply to tell them? Why does there have to be a reason to do something kind for someone else? Why can’t things just be? Why do we need a reason to do anything? Oh that’s an easy one too – because we don’t do it enough, so people get surprised or believe there is an alternative motive behind the gesture. We wait until something tragic happens for us to realize we need to do better about telling people how we feel. To tell them that we love them. We make promises that we are going to do better… and then we don’t. I know I am guilty of this.

Chances are, the first thing that you hear when you are born is, “Hi [Oriyus]. I am your mom, and I love you.” We toss the word “love” around all the time, and attach it to many different materialistic items. But we struggle saying it to PEOPLE that we love. Maybe it is because we do not fully understand what love is or we are afraid of being rejected. However, I don’t think we should ever apologize for doing our best to love someone. It is very vulnerable to love and be loved. I don’t think that should scare us from saying it more often.

You don’t need a reason to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them you love them. Some things can just “be.” This.. this is one of those things. If you are reading this, I love you.