A Lesson at York Harbor Motel

I learned one of my biggest lessons about patience this past fall.

It was October, and my second weekend away from my son. I knew if I sat at home, I would drive myself crazy. I needed to do something, and I needed to do something for me, and I needed to do something alone.

Don’t get me wrong – my friends and my family carried me through this challenging season, and usually with a smile on my face. But, I needed some me time. I decided to travel up to one of my favorite places in the world – Maine. I am so fond of Maine because I have so many amazing memories there. I decided to book a room at York Beach. It was an ocean front room, for pretty cheap, just for the night. After making the reservation, paying for it, and agreeing that there was no refund on the room should something happen, I immediately wanted to cancel it.

How could I go alone? What if something bad happened to me? What if something bad happened to my son while I was away? I started playing the “WHAT IF” game all night, hardly got any sleep, and began playing the same game that next morning.

(Please do yourself a favor; always, always, ALWAYS QUIT that game once you get going. It’s deadly for your brain and your sense of self and your reasoning and your mental health. Just stop.)

As time in the afternoon inched closer to 3:00pm, I said “Fuck it. Just go.” So I did. I drove up to Maine. The pictures online of the little motel I stayed at looked beautiful. Once I pulled onto York Street, I finally felt excited to go. I parked in parking lot of my escape for the night at York Harbor Motel, and instantly felt myself judging the appearance of where I was staying. “YEAUP. This is a joke. This is not what I saw online. Is this place even open? It looks so run down! What am I doing here? Definitely NOT beautiful.”

All of these negative thoughts replayed in my mind until the receptionist approached my car and asked me my name. “Katie Kelly.” She checked her list, and my name wasn’t on it. Of course it wasn’t. Because I’m not supposed to be here. This was a bad idea, remember? I pulled up the receipt in my emails, and gave her my confirmation number. She went back into the office, then came out about 10 minutes later. She reassured me she found my reservation, but before I could release my breath, she told me that there was a mix up with my room, and it wouldn’t be done for an hour. “Ok…no problem.” I could have gone for a drive or gotten something to eat, but decided I’d just sit in the parking lot in case I needed to be available for something else to go wrong.

Her idea of an hour was only another 10 more minutes. “Ok, ok,” I thought. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all. She brings me down to my room, which was definitely not ocean front. She hands me my keys and walks away. I sit on the bed, pull up my emails, and sure enough, I paid for an ocean front room. The same moment I decide to go down to the office, I get a knock on my door. “This is it. I’m about to die. I’ve been here a half hour, and this is it.” I cautiously open the door, and it’s just the receptionist. “I’m so sorry. I mixed you up with another Katie in our system. I put you in the wrong room. Follow me to your actual room.” Annoyed, but relieved at the same time, knowing that I paid for an ocean front room and hoping that is what I would get this time. She brought me to my next room, but once again, not ocean front. At this point, I had been so exhausted from playing the WHAT IF game, driving, and chasing rooms and reservations, that I just wanted to relax. I said “Ok thanks,” and began to unpack.

Knock. Knock. Knock. “Katie. It’s me again.” What the flip now!? The receptionist walked in my room, grabbed a bag of mine and said, “I’m so sorry. I’m new, and they have me training during peak week. I put you in the wrong room again. I promise you, I am putting you in your last and final room.” I laughed it off and told her it was no big deal, even though I was fuuuuuuuuming inside. “Who gets a room wrong THREE times?! This is ridiculous. I knew I shouldn’t have come.” But, I went on my way to my third room.

To an ocean front view. Well, my balcony was on the side of the building, so I had to poke my head over the balcony to see the ocean. But, nonetheless, an ocean view. “Ok, Katie. You’re here. Again, I am so, so sorry for all the confusion and runarounds. I hope your stay is better than how the last 45 minutes have gone. I really, really appreciate your patience with me. Please let me know if you need ANYTHING.”

Damn. That hit me. Something so small, and something so simple, and she expressed such gratitude for me. Simply for treating her like a human. Luckily for me, all the nasty things I was thinking to myself about her and York Harbor Motel and this trip were just that – thoughts. I was not patient in my mind. I was frustrated and annoyed, which turned me mean and ungrateful, and forgetting that she was human. And in the greater scheme of things, her “mistake” was a gutter-ball (maybe one pin) sized problem if I’m being honest.

I went on to enjoy my time at York Harbor Motel at York Beach in Maine. I found out that the Nubble Light House was less than two miles from my stay, so I immediately drove to catch the sunset. I brought my book, with all intentions of reading until the sun went down. Instead, I smelt the waves and the fresh air, felt the temperature change, heard the waves crashing, and just soaked in the opportunity of being alone in one of my favorite places in the world. After the sun went down, I got myself some dinner, and crashed in my room for the night. I intended on drinking a bottle of wine, but didn’t even open it. I read, I watched a movie, and I went to sleep with a grateful heart. I got up before the sun, and decided I would drive back to Nubble Light House to watch the sunrise. I spent an hour and a half there, trying to find the perfect spot to watch it rise over the light house. I ended up missing it because I was so invested on capturing the perfect time-lapse video. I drove back to my motel, and decided I’d go for a quick run. I ran just over a mile before my headphones died. Before I could get annoyed, I decided that instead of running back, I’d slowly walk back to my room. I took beautiful pictures of the sun reflecting off the water, took some rocks and seashells and keepsakes, and took a few selfies. I walked back and showered, then checked myself out of my room. I took myself out for breakfast – my most favorite meal of the day – and drove home.

While I was checking out – no contact of course because ya know, COVID – the receptionist ran out to meet me, breaking the no contact check-out policy. “KATIE! Hello. How was your stay? Thank you again for all of your patience yesterday. I was incredibly stressed out and overwhelmed, and I am so appreciative of you. Not everyone is that kind. I really am so thankful that you were so understanding and patient with me as I learn what I am doing.” I didn’t know what to say. All I could think of was “Oh it’s no big deal!” But to her, it really was.

Patience has not always been a strength of mine. To this day, I don’t necessarily consider myself a patient person. It is still something that I am working on daily. I need it as a school counselor. I need it as a mom. I need(ed) it as a partner. I need it as a companion. Yet it challenges me day in and day out. I must say, I have grown quite a bit in the area. The fact that I was able to bite my tongue and keep my negative thoughts to myself instead of cursing out the HUMAN receptionist was huge for me. It demonstrated how much I have grown.

However.

The fact that I had those negative thoughts towards the HUMAN receptionist shows that I still have some work to do. I know not having patience is a huge reason why my relationship failed. I know that not having patience is a huge reason for my burn out at work. I know that not having patience is a huge reason for why I snap at my son over the simplest things. I know that not having patience is a huge reason of why I am not happy with myself.

I’m really over this season of challenges and change. I can’t wish it away. I can’t hope it away. I can’t push it away. The only way out of it, is to go through it. I just need the patience to get me through it.

Patience really is a virtue. It is something I admire in other people, and something that I crave so much from others. One of my goals this year is to keep practicing patience, mostly with myself. I hope that if I am patient with myself, patience with others will just come naturally.

Thank you, York Harbor Motel. I’ll be back soon for more.